Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

Rainbow Dash flew lazily through the sky as she headed home.  She had to work for almost a whole hour today and she was exhausted and starving.  As she swooped in for a landing by her door, she was deciding between whether to take nap first or have a sandwich.  The rumbling in her tummy decided for her, sandwich wins.

Dash only barely took notice that her door was slightly ajar, she must have forgotten to shut it again.  Except there were also muddy hoof prints on her cloud floors and not in the places that she usually left them.  Dash stalked forward, tracing the steps around her house, ready for a fight.  They lead her upstairs and back again, wound through her kitchen and then back again, and stopped at the couch right next to the front door.

Dash relaxed from fight mode to annoyed as started poking a sleeping Derpy Hooves on her couch.  "Hey, wake up."  Getting no response, Dash flew out her door and came back moments later with a tiny dark cloud.  Positioning it perfectly over Derpy's head, Dash gave the cloud a light kick.  Thunder clapped as a tiny lightning bolt frizzled Derpy's hair.  The grey pegasus leapt into the air and looked around wildly until her swirling eyes settled on Dash.

"Oh um, hi," Derpy waved at Dash and smiled apologetically.

"Hi," Dash scowled.  "Do you mind telling me what you're doing napping in my house."

"Oh yeah, you had a package," Derpy gestured towards a box on the coffee table.  "But you weren't home and your door was unlocked and it had been a long day and you were my last stop on my route and,"

Dash waved a hoof in the air as if to ward the speech away, "Yeah, yeah, I get!  Just go... somewhere else."  Derpy nodded and flew out the door.

"Now it's sandwich time," Dash said happily and strutted into the kitchen humming a rock tune.  All joy left her when she saw her refrigerator door hanging open, its emptiness reflecting her own stomach.  Dash fell to her haunches and raised her forehooves into the air and shouted with all the rage in her heart, "DERPY!"

At the checkout of the local supermarket, a bleary eyed and hungry Rainbow Dash pushed her cart of food to the register.  "Hello sir or madam, will you be paying with cash or credit today," asked the blonde haired earth pony cashier without looking up.

"Um, I'm a girl," said Dash through clenched teeth.  She glared at the cashier's name tag, "And I'll be paying with cash, Ms Quick Check."

The cashier leaned forward and looked over the contents of Dash's cart.  She looked up at Dash who gasped at her deep blue eyes.  "That'll be five bits."

Dash's heart was hammering so hard and her teeth chattered as she dug around in her coin purse.  "Here you go," she mumbled as she tossed the coins to the cashier who expertly caught them in her teeth.  Dash tried very hard not to trip over her own hooves as she started walking away.

After two steps Dash felt a tug on her tail and turned around to see that Quick had grabbed it.  "Excuse me," the earth pony asked, Dash noted a hint of a blush appearing on her cheeks.  "But are you Rainbow Dash?"

Dash's chest puffed out automatically as a grin spread across her face, "Why, you heard of me?"

A hoof shot toward her mouth and her blush deepened, "Who hasn't heard of the Best Young Flyer in Equestria?!  Oh, I'm so sorry about being so rude, it's been a long day.  Let me make it up to you and buy you lunch some time."  She grabbed up a pencil and jotted down her number on a scrap of paper that she held out to Dash in her mouth.

"Well, if you insist," Dash then leaned forward to take the paper from her, making sure her lips brushed the cashier's in the process.  Dash then turned and walked out leaving Quick smiling giddily.

Rainbow waited until she was a block from the store before flying into the air and squealing in delight, "THANK YOU, DERPY!"

"Don't mention it," Derpy called from far away leaving Dash to look around in confusion.
Dash has a hunger that MUST be satisfied.

I love writing stupid stuff when I get some drinks in me!
Add a Comment:
Ragnarok311 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2012
No more? I want more... MOAR NOW.
Solaris90 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Heh. I remember reading this a long time ago. As smile-inducing now as it was then.
JustinHunn Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2011
Short and sweeeet, : 3 left me wanting more xD
PlanetaryGenocide Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2011
Derpy emptying fridges, candyvag Dash. WIN
Zhiifox Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011
oh derpy what would we do without you and your antics <3
DizzyPacce Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2011
Be sad.
Ziddia Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
DizzyPacce Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2011
Thanks for reading.
romadragon Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2011
A cute little fun story, I enjoyed it! I was actually expecting this to be a Dash/Derpy ship, but that'd be too mindbending so I'm glad you went with an OC.
DizzyPacce Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2011
This was actually a story request from 4chan.
But I'm glad you enjoyed it.
CWMckerracher Featured By Owner May 6, 2011
Dare I say...yay for Dash
DizzyPacce Featured By Owner May 6, 2011
Yay indeed.
cultistofvertigo Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2011
Wait... so Derpy ate all of Dash's food to... get her a date with somepony from the grocery store?

Those are some deep rooted plans.
DizzyPacce Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2011
I think she's just quick to accept thanks.
RoyGBiv-MLP Featured By Owner May 6, 2011
Nah, Derpy's brilliant... She just has problems with words at times! She's gonna help Dash get some tail on the side before finally pairing her with Pinkie Pie!
EbonMane Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011

Very amusing story.
XxBlackheartAngelxx Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2011
I chuckled.

Quite enticing, good steed!
StringPetounPing Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2011
Derpy Hooves saves the day once again. Who would have guess that this habit of her to be in someone else home and emptying their fridge would become handy.
BronyMuffin Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, how I love derpy!
Add a Comment:

:icondizzypacce: More from DizzyPacce

Featured in Collections

MLP: FiM by JRSpaniel

My Little Pony FanFics by Buckykatt42

MLP FIM Stories by WaterDeity3

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
February 20, 2011
File Size
4.4 KB


18 (who?)